Consistent Fiction
Constancy and lies are ideal mates:
Each is strongest when the other's near.
To marry them, adhere to these dictates:
Lie barefaced and briskly, be sincere
(It's better that your lie be gorged yet pliant,
Can bend to fit any tale that is weaved,
Than starved and feckless, lying stiff and silent);
And, remember private lies are best believed.
(They're suited well for any rendezvous;
Not so for mass consumption. One-on-one
Convincing's easier than one-on-two
Or more, for who can prove the lie was done?)
Full-fledged constancy in dark lies is
Not subject to the stain intrinsic to
Half-truths in white lies that so entice us,
For all will relate that the person who
Speaks, speaks all one way, and that gives rise
To sterling reputations. So, as you
Lie with me now in my bed, I surmise
That you are constant and I soundly do
Approve: we're one-on-one, and your lies bend.
I'd rather have--if I could have my druthers--
You wholly lie with me than have you spend
Half your time in being true with others.
****
– jb
Performed by Perry Barton
Melody & lyrics by jb
Nun-Stalking
lyrics and production notes
Well she’s an old-fashioned girl
Who fairly sets my heart a-whirl
Whenever she wears a Forties dress
(Oh heavens yes)
And her old-fashioned smile
Is gonna’ always be in style
Although I’m subjective, I confess
She’s a vision
Yeah, she’s divine
God-given
All His’n and mine
Myra excites my
Aorta pump [heartbeat3]
She bats her eyes (oh my)
Ka-thump ka-thump [heartbeat2]
And I ain’t ashamed to say
Whenever she sashays my way
My heart leaps up into my ear [brief faintly detectable single heartbeat]
(It’s hard to hear)
She’s timeless, formless, fine
And even though I’m sure she’s mine
When she’s around, I act like I’m not weird
Yeah, she’s a vision
Said she’s divine
God-given
All His’n and mine
I want to sip from
Her holy cup
Her Father might (no no)
Not give her up
[30 second brass break]
[3/4 key lift for final stanza]
Yeah she’s an old-fashioned girl
Who takes my breath out for a twirl [brief bosa nova riff]
Each time she flashes perfect teeth
(They’re very neat)
She’s Big Band swinging sound [Band proud loud and swinging from here until "down"]
When I am out of tune and down
I think of her and hardly miss a beat [quirky two drumsticks quickly counting]
She’s a vision
She’s divine
God-given
All His’n and mine
I think of her each day
Ka-thump ka-thump
It’s hard to give (oh my)
The habit up
KA-THUMP